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Saturday November 18th 2017

The #Worst Things in Music 2013

Worst Things in Music 2013

7. Who Are You People?

Shortly after Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs won the Grammy for Best New Album in 2011, Twitter became deluged with tweets of a common theme: “who the [expletive] are ‘The Suburbs?’” Two years later, the indie ensemble promoted their album Reflektor with TV appearances and concerts booked under the pseudonym “The Reflektors.” The Canadians must have missed the seminar on how successful branding works.

6. Honestly, I Wanna See You Be Original Again

“Roar,” the lead single from Katy Perry’s Prism, sounded uncannily like “Brave” by Sara Bareilles when it was released and the two were immediately compared to each other. “Brave” was released four months prior to “Roar.” Bareilles later commended Perry’s song and producer Dr. Luke alleged on Twitter that “Roar” was written and recorded before “Brave.” Still, accusations of plagiarism did nothing to help the star’s image. All fireworks fade out eventually.

5. Unholy Matrimony

Former pop punk darling Avril Lavigne married Chad Kroeger of Nickelback on Canada Day in the south of France.  Kroeger also co-wrote about sixty-two percent of the songs on Lavigne’s self-titled album released this year, granting the world further permission to continue ignoring her.

4. RIP Azealia Banks’ Career

The calendar barely turned 2013 before former rapper and current Twitter troll Azealia Banks feuded with actual troll Perez Hilton, brandishing an “f word” long used to slander gay men while attempting to redefine it to serve her purpose. This successfully alienated away her largely gay fan base. Reception of her new singles was tepid at best – if acknowledged at all – within the US, leaving her to chase fame overseas a la Lana Del Rey. While repeatedly delaying the release of her debut album Broke with Expensive Taste, Banks picked Twitter fights with numerous artists for the rest of the year.

3. ¡Con Los Terroristas!

Baauer’s “Harlem Shake” became a YouTube phenomenon seemingly overnight and received backlash about as quickly. Minute-long videos of people dancing frantically to the trap beat were met with enthusiasm for about a week by everyone outside of Harlem, NY, where residents looked on in disdain.

2. We Were Warned She Can’t Be Tamed

The country was outragedOUTRAGED! – when former Disney starlet Miley Cyrus unleashed her career’s new direction, complete with scandalous music videos, skin-showing outfits, and introducing twerking to the national conversation. The most discussed music event of the year was her raunchy performance alongside Robin Thicke and 2 Chainz at the MTV Video Music Awards. For some reason, a female singer formerly marketed as wholesome brashly demanding to be viewed as a rebellious sexual being remains a source of consternation. As if countless others haven’t done the same thing long before her.

1. Date Rape Anthem of the Summer

Falsetto R&B singer Robin Thicke bested Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” for the unofficial “song of the summer” with “Blurred Lines,” a collaboration with Pharrell and T.I. about whether or not to take sexual advantage of a woman. The ramifications of the most popular song of the year being about considering rape have already been discussed at length, but do not bode well for the cultural direction of America.